Empty Fill

Get full, fill up, keep going,

Fill the empty hole inside,

Do not stop until you can’t no more,

Eat and drink until sick and weak

Feel the way I feel inside,

Like nothing sparks life and joy

Deep into my soul;

Eat your fill until sick and weak,

Fill yourself to fill the hole

That used to be you.

Bloody Prize

I feel the hot air breathing down my soft neck,

Getting at my skin to begin the breakdown

Of the safety and sanctity of my body.

Weak and frail, to the point of a zombie,

I lie with blank eyes at the empty ceiling,

As empty as how I am feeling,

Being violated and massacred,

Falling unwitting prey to the organ trafficker.

The cold begins to seep deep to the bone,

And I have never felt more alone,

Looking into those ugly red eyes

Digging for their bloody prize.

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Anxiety

My skin is burns underneath the surface,

Ants crawling up and down,

Setting fire to every cell in my body

And an uncontrollable itch and pain

In an unreachable place.

 

I claw at my skin,

Talons tearing the skin to shreds,

Blood pours from my wounds,

Yet there is no relief

The anguish I feel.

 

My heart beats faster,

Breathing gets heavier

With every passing moment

Desperate to feel more,

To feel more than never-ending pain.

 

My skin dangles from muscle,

Tendons twitching from the fresh air

And tears that pour from my cheeks,

Blood drips to the floor, but all this pain

Led to no eternal relief,

As I know there will be a resurgence of pain.

 

 

Control

I lost control of my mind,

Going down in hellish fire

Entering the realm of the damned

And unable to regain myself,

I lost all control that night,

The night where I could no longer feel

The knife in my hand,

The night where I could no longer hear

The blood curdling screams,

The night where I could no longer taste

The tang of that innocent, pure blood,

The night where I could no longer see

The look of fear in your face,

The night where I could no longer smell

The sweet fire I put you in.

I lost control that bright night,

Sending myself down a hellish spiral

Where I could no longer sense anything,

My body had no control

Yet, it was the best experience in the world,

To control the choices and outcomes,

To feel unstoppable.

Cleansing

Slowly but steadily,

My red life drips down

The fragile skin,

Dripping to the floor.

 

Sorry for making a mess,

There was no other way.

 

Hearing the drippings sounds nice,

Almost peaceful,

Like water in a zen garden:

Feels warm and soft.

 

The red life trickles down,

It just feels unclean.

My body needs to be cleansed

And my unclean blood must be banished.