Forever lasted the joy you sowed deep
Inside my body, pulsing slowly and
Growing faster, pulsating faster and
Burrowing deeper and stronger through me,
Giving me the energy I need to thrive;
If only it lasted for eternity yet it
Lasted for only moments of life
Because you were fulfilling for just
The few moments you sowed the joy
Deep inside that reached the unreachable.
There was no room left for you
On the marble pedestal I made
For us to live and breathe side by side,
Slowly weathered away by acid rain
That poured from your finger tips,
Burning me with every touch.
The marble stand begins to bend,
Failing and crumbling because of you,
Burning and unleashing constant pain
Onto my fragile skin,
But I stay will stay strong.
I see the strength I need,
It is easily within my reach,
But my arms feel like lead,
Heavy and dragged down,
Unable to move towards
Motivation and getting out
Of the ditch I’ve been entrapped by;
Success is literally at my fingertips,
If only I could make a fist
And climb out of the ditch
To reach the goals I need to reach.
I lie weak and numb as the darkness
Grows and deepens with hatred,
Dark shadows lick at my wounds,
Blood trickling down my skin.
I wait for the pain to end
And wait for the darkness to disappear
And for light to shine once more.
I wait for there to be a reason to breathe,
For a reason to feel again
Rather than wasting away as a numb
And empty shell of the human I once was.
I look into the mirror,
Watching the person staring back
And it could not be clearer
That the figure cloaked in black
Is not who I am.
The figure has my appearance,
Looking at me with disgust
And sorrow because it is inherent
That the eyes do not trust
The figure staring back.
I keep looking and reach to the broken
Glass towards the sharp edges
Tinged deep with black omens,
Blood and deep evils of legend,
Looking at the figure staring back.
My hand feels the warm glass full of evil,
The figure looks right in my eyes,
Grabs my arm and pulls me from Eden
Into the hell that exists inside the glass.
Reach me via email: roman@impossiblybizarre.com
It is not easy to walk in darkness,
Wandering the gray grass fields,
Waiting for there to be any light
Or waiting for the embrace of night
To at least feel the cold.
There is no light shining in my eyes,
There is no warmth in my heart,
And my skin feels numb and weak.
No pain makes me feel,
No food gives me warmth or fill,
No person brings me life again,
A hollow smile to fill a broken face,
A veneer placed to fool the world
That life is normal with no troubles,
To let the world believe that functions flow
Despite the cogs being stuck for ages.
Unable to feel and unable to love,
Yearning to do so hurts more
Than the knife against the skin.
Get full, fill up, keep going,
Fill the empty hole inside,
Do not stop until you can’t no more,
Eat and drink until sick and weak
Feel the way I feel inside,
Like nothing sparks life and joy
Deep into my soul;
Eat your fill until sick and weak,
Fill yourself to fill the hole
That used to be you.
