The Sports Fans’ Favorite Past Time
Look at my boys go as they throw,
Scaring the opposing team with passes
That make Tom Landry proud!
Look at them go!
I see boxes of food, it’s so good,
And the drinks make it even better,
All of this combined makes heaven real.
The pizza and beer, the nuts and wine
Combined with those throws,
It’s enough to make me die happy.
I throw the beer back and let it drop,
Drop down my gullet to my stomach,
Have it fuel my bones
And loosen my brain.
Down into my intestines it goes,
Mixing with what I binged earlier,
Making me full to where I can’t any more,
But yet I want more in my body,
More food in me to enjoy all of life.
Screams and shouts echo across the stadium,
Our team fumbled the ball,
The opponents are running through the field,
Past the 50;
Past the 20;
No, someone stop them!
Touchdown for that team because of an idiot,
My team is full of idiots. Let me drink
And eat some food, let me feel better.
Bartender! Give me vodka! I need to forget that failure,
Need to not feel this idiotic pain.
Love this suite,
My company pays everything,
I get hammered and full and a good view,
All the perks a fan could want.
More screams echo; the opponents scored again.
God damn them and their children, worthless scum,
They better hope their ride home is disaster free.
Thank fully my vodka is ready.
I throw it back and let it burn, burn everything away,
Let it burn me from the inside.
Where is the food?
Hey! Person! Order me a loaded pizza,
I want it here in 10 minutes.
It better be worth it,
Not like those plays my team did,
Now Tom is rolling in his grave!
Such a pathetic team. Let me throw this back again,
Throw back the liquors, let it mix and seep.
Wait, it already be time?
I do nut know what on right now,
Game end and I need leave but too loose,
No feel in body, stomach too full.
Feel like I’ll throw up.
Time to leave – oh god
It hurts. Yeah, got to go.
Car where? I ohnut remember where I park.