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Just A Drag

There is nothing and everything flowing around my mind,

Passing by while silence thunders past

The nothing that screams at me,

Yet everything bothers me not while I remain motionless.

 

The drag of the of the cigarette is my only measure of time,

Puff after puff and one stick after another,

Only the darkness that pours into my body

With each hit fills my decrepit soul.

 

Motionless and frozen in time I lie in this pool of nothing,

Letting the smoke fill the room to choke me to death,

Those smoky hands wrapping tight to rip out my heart,

Letting the blood drip out,

 

Letting the blood drip onto my chest and filling the cavity black,

The smoke filling my soul, the only thing that can fill my decrepit soul

To make me feel whole if only for a moment at a time.

 

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Anxiety

My skin is burns underneath the surface,

Ants crawling up and down,

Setting fire to every cell in my body

And an uncontrollable itch and pain

In an unreachable place.

 

I claw at my skin,

Talons tearing the skin to shreds,

Blood pours from my wounds,

Yet there is no relief

The anguish I feel.

 

My heart beats faster,

Breathing gets heavier

With every passing moment

Desperate to feel more,

To feel more than never-ending pain.

 

My skin dangles from muscle,

Tendons twitching from the fresh air

And tears that pour from my cheeks,

Blood drips to the floor, but all this pain

Led to no eternal relief,

As I know there will be a resurgence of pain.

 

 

Warmth and Passion

There was nothing that could be seen. It was darker than black, the cold enveloping me slowly.

I felt you next to me, warmth radiating off of you, yet I could not reach it. There was no light pushing through the darkness and the warmth gets stripped away, like a black hole, growing bigger with your light and warmth.

Directly in sight, I long to be next to you, your warmth penetrating deeply and fully, engulfing the darkness and eradicating it. Cold replaced with heat, replaced with emotion and passion once again, living life as it should be.

I long to be there next to you, to feel the warmth and passion enter me, to give to you the way you give to me. If only life could be easy and I did not feel empty the way I do now.

Pulse

Forever lasted the joy you sowed deep

Inside my body, pulsing slowly and

Growing faster, pulsating faster and

Burrowing deeper and stronger through me,

Giving me the energy I need to thrive;

If only it lasted for eternity yet it

Lasted for only moments of life

Because you were fulfilling for just

The few moments you sowed the joy

Deep inside that reached the unreachable.

Marble Tower

There was no room left for you

On the marble pedestal I made

For us to live and breathe side by side,

Slowly weathered away by acid rain

That poured from your finger tips,

Burning me with every touch.

The marble stand begins to bend,

Failing and crumbling because of you,

Burning and unleashing constant pain

Onto my fragile skin,

But I stay will stay strong.

The Deep Ditch

I see the strength I need,

It is easily within my reach,

But my arms feel like lead,

Heavy and dragged down,

Unable to move towards

Motivation and getting out

Of the ditch I’ve been entrapped by;

Success is literally at my fingertips,

If only I could make a fist

And climb out of the ditch

To reach the goals I need to reach.

Inside the Darkness

I lie weak and numb as the darkness

Grows and deepens with hatred,

Dark shadows lick at my wounds,

Blood trickling down my skin.

I wait for the pain to end

And wait for the darkness to disappear

And for light to shine once more.

I wait for there to be a reason to breathe,

For a reason to feel again

Rather than wasting away as a numb

And empty shell of the human I once was.

 

Inside the Glass

I look into the mirror,

Watching the person staring back

And it could not be clearer

That the figure cloaked in black

Is not who I am.

The figure has my appearance,

Looking at me with disgust

And sorrow because it is inherent

That the eyes do not trust

The figure staring back.

I keep looking and reach to the broken

Glass towards the sharp edges

Tinged deep with black omens,

Blood and deep evils of legend,

Looking at the figure staring back.

My hand feels the warm glass full of evil,

The figure looks right in my eyes,

Grabs my arm and pulls me from Eden

Into the hell that exists inside the glass.

 

Reach me via email: roman@impossiblybizarre.com

The Flow of Function

It is not easy to walk in darkness,

Wandering the gray grass fields,

Waiting for there to be any light

Or waiting for the embrace of night

To at least feel the cold.

There is no light shining in my eyes,

There is no warmth in my heart,

And my skin feels numb and weak.

No pain makes me feel,

No food gives me warmth or fill,

No person brings me life again,

A hollow smile to fill a broken face,

A veneer placed to fool the world

That life is normal with no troubles,

To let the world believe that functions flow

Despite the cogs being stuck for ages.

Unable to feel and unable to love,

Yearning to do so hurts more

Than the knife against the skin.